Speaking With My Abuelita About The ‘Beautiful Years’ Of Her 20s
I asked my Abuelita about life in her 20s and what she hopes I accomplish while I’m still in mine.
I don’t really think much of my birthday, but this year, I’ve been really dreading it.
This past year, especially these past few months, have been especially draining. I lost my job to the pandemic, the family dog died and my mother dealt with some health issues just days after we lost our dog. To be completely honest, if I could just skip this whole year and try again next year without any consequences, I would.
But every year around my birthday, I think about two of the most influential women in my life: my abuelitas (grandmothers). Both of these women have been present for every birthday and have had a hand in raising me into the woman I am today. Because of them, I learned about my Puerto Rican culture, how to cook my favorite Puerto Rican dishes and what it means to be a strong Latina.
My Abuelita Gladys, who lives in Florida, is one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. Looking back on my teenage years, I didn’t appreciate the summers I spent with her as much as I should have. Now that I’m older, I try to visit her as much as I can. I love hearing her stories about her childhood in Puerto Rico, how much she loved to needlepoint massive portraits in her spare time and her adventures with my grandpa.
I interviewed my Abuelita Gladys to find out more about what she was like in her 20s and what she hopes I accomplish while I’m still in mine.
Maria Elena Perez: This is a big broad question, but what were you like in your 20s?
Abuelita Gladys: Oh my god, those were my beautiful years. I just moved to the States [from Puerto Rico] and I remember I came to New York on November 11, 1953. It was very hard for me in the beginning. I was supposed to [stay] with a friend of mine, we were very close, but she had changed to be a completely different person. I was uncomfortable in her home, and her grandma and mother told me that my friend was not the same person she used to be. So I reunited with one of my other girlfriends in Puerto Rico and I moved out of there.
MEP: What were some of your favorite hobbies?
AG: My biggest hobby was dancing. That was all we did. We used to go to all the clubs and [dance] the mambo and the cha-cha. I used to dance with the best dancers. I met your grandpa on the dancefloor, and he danced [just as well as me]. We were great dancing partners.
MEP: Tell me about your relationship with grandpa.
AG: When we first started dating, grandpa was a shoe salesman and I did some bookkeeping on Wall Street. After we became boyfriend and girlfriend, he wanted me to meet his parents in Brooklyn. It was a really rough time. I [am] Puerto Rican and your grandpa was an Italian American, and when his mother heard he was [dating] a Puerto Rican girl, she was furious with him. She wanted no part of me. So he left his home.
MEP: He left his home? I didn’t know that.
AG: He never told me this until [I spoke to his mother] years later. He ended up living with one of his friends, but she left her home looking for him to come back home. When she found him, she said she wanted to meet me. If he had told me about all of this before, I would’ve left him. When I met [his mother], her attitude about me changed because she saw that I am a [light-skinned] Puerto Rican woman. She eventually apologized to me later on, but if I would have known this originally, I wouldn’t have been with your grandpa.
MEP: That’s probably why grandpa didn’t tell you about his mother’s reaction because he knew you would’ve left him over that drama.
AG: That’s right. It wasn’t too long after I met him that we got engaged. I wanted to go to Puerto Rico to show off my ring to my family and my mother-in-law went with me. She wanted to make sure my entire family was just as white [as I was]. But that’s the way she met everybody. We finally got married [on October 27, 1957] when I was 24 years old.
MEP: By the time you were 28 years old –– because I’m turning 28 this year –– what was your life like?
AG: I was a mother to your Uncle Anthony. I had to leave my job because I had no one to take care of my son. I didn’t really have anyone to take care of my son, but I wanted to raise my own child without anyone’s help. I loved every minute of being a mom. [When] I was [a] young lady, I loved children and wanted about six or seven children!
MEP: Is there something that you wished you did in your 20s that you never got to do?
AG: What I really wanted to be was to be a doctor. I never got to do it because I had no one to [financially] help me. I took up bookkeeping because I wanted to work right away. But when I first go to the States, I went [to school] to become a medical assistant. I studied to become an X-Ray technician but I also took classes to become a cardiac technician. I wanted to be in the medical field because my mother was a nurse, but I never had the opportunity to become a doctor. After I had my children, I took Saturday classes [to complete my degree]. I got my first cardiac technician job when I was in my early 40’s at Coney Island Hospital.
MEP: What is something that you hope for me to accomplish while I’m still in my 20s?
AG: Abuelita has been praying for you to get your dream job. Every night, I pray for [each of my grandchildren]. I want to see you in The New York Times. You have had all that power and talent since you were little. I remember when you were little how much you love to write and how much you love to read.
MEP: What is some advice that you can give me that you wish you would’ve given yourself when you were in your 20s?
AG: My advice that I give you is to persevere. If you’re good at something, keep going and do not let anyone stop you.
