Selena Helped Me Gain The Confidence to Learn How to Speak Spanish
On her 50th birthday, I remember Selena and how her story helped me gain the confidence to learn how to speak Spanish and embrace my Puerto Rican culture.
I was 13 years old when I first heard “Como la Flor,” one of the most iconic hits from the Queen of Tejano music. I’m also embarrassed to admit I heard it in my 7th grade choir class during the 1997 film “Selena” starring J.Lo.
I don’t know if it was J.Lo (who I idolized growing up) or the portrayal of Selena’s story, but I was super excited to learn more about her. Like any teen growing up in the early 2000s, I ran straight to my room after school and hopped onto my “secret” MySpace page to chat with some friends. After writing the perfect away message, I got serious and decided to do my own research on Selena.
After one internet search on her and watching whatever videos I could find of her performing, I knew how amazing she was. I am not Mexican and I am not a Texan, but as a young Latina who once had dreams of singing and performing on stage, I idolized her.
Growing up in the suburbs of Long Island and living in an English-speaking household, I never spoke Spanish but I unconsciously learned some words and phrases thanks to my Abuelas. Both of my Abuelas, who were born and raised in different parts of Puerto Rico, taught me Spanish through conversation, songs and telenovelas. They also taught me about my culture and introduced me to a lot of my favorite Puerto Rican foods.
When I tried to implement some of the things that I learned from my Abuelas in everyday life, I was shut down or ignored. In front of the whole class, my 7th grade Spanish teacher told me that I was using “slang” words when I spoke Spanish and that I sounded “ghetto.” That moment and the countless other times when I tried to speak Spanish made me afraid I was going to be mocked.
It never mattered to some of my Latinx family members or friends that I was trying to learn Spanish because I would always be referred to as a “gringa” (a derogatory term used to describe a foreign woman who isn’t Spanish or Latinx). I felt like I was not Puerto Rican enough because I couldn’t speak Spanish, even though two of the most influential people in my life spent a lot of their time teaching me about my culture and the Spanish language.
I know it’s super corny, but I remember re-watching the “Selena” movie in college with friends. In one scene, Edward James Olmos, who played Abraham Quintanilla, is talking to Selena and Abie about why the band should not perform in Mexico. He teases Selena about her Spanish but proceeds to go on a rant about how difficult it is to be Mexican American.
“We gotta be more Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than the Americans, both at the same time. It's exhausting!” Abraham says.
While I realize that this film is just an adaptation of Selena’s life, that quote stuck with me. It made me realize that Selena also had to fight to prove that she was Mexican enough. Selena, who sang beautifully in Spanish, had to learn how to speak Spanish all by herself for her fans because she grew up in an English-speaking household.
Chris Perez, Selena’s guitarist and husband until her death in 1995, wrote about how they both had to study the Spanish language in his memoir “To Selena, With Love.” In an excerpt, Chris wrote about the pressure they felt from Mexican journalists about being able to sing in Spanish but not knowing how to speak the language fluently.
“To Mexicans, and to most Mexican Americans, Selena was that perfect symbol: a sexy star who had come up from the streets, bringing her family with her, and still remaining virtuous and hard-working along the way. It wasn’t an act, either,” the excerpt reads. “What they saw was true and the fans knew that. In Mexico, Selena mangled her conversations in Spanish like the rest of us, but not for long. She said, ‘It’ll be cool. You watch. I’m going to learn Spanish and surprise everybody.’”
Selena learned to speak Spanish and embraced her Mexican culture for her fans, so why couldn’t I learn to speak Spanish and learn about my Puerto Rican culture for myself?
As a young teen, I idolized Selena for her voice. I still do, but I now idolize her more because she normalized not having to speak Spanish fluently to be Latinx enough. You can be Latinx and still learn how to fluently speak Spanish, even if you grew up in an English-speaking household. You can be Latinx and never learn to speak Spanish, and that’s totally okay too.
I am currently learning how to speak Spanish through apps on my phone. Once I am fully employed again, I plan to take an actual class to improve my Spanish. I wouldn’t have had the courage to re-learn Spanish without getting a confidence boost from the Queen of Tejano music.